So it seems like wedding bells are ringing, and they are ringing for me. And I can safely say they are ringing for my Mr. Right as well.
I can't say that the girly wedding ever appealed to me. I am just not that type of girl. I love the idea of getting married in white. That is every woman's dream I guess. At least here in these parts. But then I am just too much of an outdoors woman to stuff myself in a big flowery wedding gown. It just wouldn't work. For one, I don't have the body for getting into such a gown. I am sure they have one in my size, but then, you can get a gown for just about any body type.
The wedding isn't depended on the dress, nor any of the other trappings that you find everywhere. When I look at the "real" weddings, they have them on just about every wedding site, (The Knot is a good example they have 13,000 galleries as of writing) you have to ask how many of them are really affordable.
While I want to give my family and friends a nice experience, I can't see spending money I don't have on the celebration. If it isn't there, it isn't there.
Nice And Simple
I am not going to go all out if I can do it myself.
There are so many things that you can do yourself. You don't need to have everything handcrafted for your celebration. The fact that you are getting married, that is the most important aspect. It is also the one that your guests will remember the most.
You don't need to spend a fortune on decorations. A bouquet of simple flowers will get the same reactions as the expensive lilies. You should realize that you're guests will probably look at it for a fraction of a second think it is nice and move on. It can just as easily cost $5 instead of $20.
The same goes for the paper products. We plan to get ours printed online by a service like WeddingInvitations100 which offers beautiful (printed) watercolor invitations. I love the peaceful look that they have and it is just right for our celebration.
If my guests don't approve. Well, it might have been a mistake including them.
The Big Deal About The Big Day
I want it to be special. I want it to be memorable. I want it to be affordable.
There is no reason what it can't be all of these things.
You've probably seen those things where they give you different options and a you need to pick one. You know, where you end up with one good option and the other is a bit of a dud. Many of those wedding sites make it seem like special, memorable, and affordable are somehow mutually exclusive.
Because they are not. And they never have been.
If I have learned anything in my life it is that you do not need to give out a lot to have a good time. Celebrating a marriage is no different. And I have been to many of them in my lifetime. The ones that made me the happiest were the ones that were simple. They were nice. Everybody was fed, and you had more that enough, everybody went home full, they went home happy.
For me this is a big deal. I want my wedding to be like that.
The Wedding In My Opinion
In my opinion the wedding is about more than just having great looking photos that feel more like a photo shoot for some magazine, it is about actually enjoying yourself.
Well, I know I am in the minority here. The most girls out there, they want the big celebration with an over the top ceremony and a reception that cost more than me and my fiancee earn in a year (combined). That is the way my sisters celebrated.
For the first one my dad, bless his heart, went into debt. I think it cost something to the tune of $15,000+ in '97. My sister would be married for twenty years this coming Fall. But the marriage only held out for three years. That was money wasted.
When my little sister got married a few years later he made her pay for it.
She was a bit upset. After all he let me older sister run the show for her's and he still hadn't gotten everything paid off.
I told him then that he didn't have to worry about me. We'd (my future husband and I) would take care of it for ours. I think that the look of relief on his face at that time was very telling. Unlike my sisters I am not going to blow a bundle of cash on the celebration.
Jeff and I have agreed that if we wouldn't buy it for ourselves we are not going to be giving it to our guests.
And what that means is:
- The wedding ceremony will be tasteful, decorated with wild flowers, and held in a traditional venue. Yeah, I am talking about a church.
- The reception will be pleasant, but it won't be over the top extravagant. The meal will be delicious, but I am not talking three star, seven course meals.
- The honeymoon is going to be a camping/hiking sort of affair. So outside of supplies it won't be too expensive.
I am sure that some of what I have said has not gone unnoticed, at least not by all of you. I think the trend to have over the top weddings is older than most of us think. Think about my sister, even though that was an outlandish sum of money to spend on the wedding she wasn't alone. It was mostly through competition with her best friend and maid of honor that it got so expensive. Both of them were getting married around the same time and it became a look and see sort of thing.
I never heard how much the maid of honor's wedding was but I assume it was about the same. Maybe a little less since her family wasn't as well off. But not too much, maybe about a thousand dollars or so.
For me life isn't about money, it is about experiences and they don't have to be expensive. You can get just as much out of twenty dollars as you can out of fifty. It just some down to how you use it.
A Word To Brides
When you plan your wedding, please, please look deep inside. Don't let yourself get blinded by the amazing photos you see on the Internet, on facebook, or instagram. Look at the things that were important to you before you decided to get married. Look at what makes you and your SO happy.
These are the things that you should be working into your ceremony and reception.
These are aspects of who you are. They give your guests a chance to see you for who you are.
When you make it big, make it expensive, you only make it fake. You aren't showing the real you. And you want to be honest, you want to know what you want out of your marriage.
And there is no better time to start than at the very beginning.
I wish you the best of luck!